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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23154511">Meme Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thimblerig/pseuds/Thimblerig'>Thimblerig</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Picard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Gen, Mystery crossover, Slice of Life, Snippets, Temporary Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:33:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>785</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23154511</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thimblerig/pseuds/Thimblerig</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm sorry, I had to.</p><p>
  <em>1. (interlude, on a Borg cube)</em>
  <br/>
  <em>2. (let me explain)</em>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elnor &amp; Hugh|Third of Five, Seven of Nine &amp; Elnor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Forgive me. I had to do it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Hugh's face was peaceful in death, worn with the lines of one who had used his life well.</p><p>Seven of Nine shoved her shoulder roughly into the man's stomach, wedging him awkwardly into the elderly Regeneration Chamber. One of his feet stuck out and she kicked it into place (no time for grace) before attacking the control panel of the Chamber and rudely repairing the internal workings. Nothing happened.</p><p>She slammed the palm of her hand against it, as one of her old crew members had been wont to do (sloppy, Tom Paris, very sloppy) and it lit up, limning the dead man in a familiar, unearthly glow.</p><p>"What purpose does this serve?" Elnor demanded. The boy was jittering, anxious.</p><p>"It's only a cut throat," Seven said vaguely. (I'm so sorry, Icheb.) "He's an xB, on a Borg cube." Elnor looked at her, eyes curious. She tried to explain: "There's <em>mostly</em> dead, and <em>all the way</em> dead. Right now, Hugh is only <em>mostly</em> dead." (Damn you, Tom Paris.)</p><p>The boy seemed to grow, buoyed on blossoming joy.</p><p>Seven threw up her hands again. "I'm not making any promises." Tears and hope welled in Elnor's eyes, and he looked like he was going to <em>hug</em> her again. Hastily, she asked, "So... How did a young man join the Qowat Milat?" (The warrior nuns were notorious in Vashti sector.)</p><p>"Oh!" he said brightly. "Well you see, the Qowat Milat sheltered me, after the Tal Shiar killed my father..."</p><p>Seven coughed. </p><p>"Let's just get to the Queen Cell..."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. (let me explain)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So there are elements of the criminal and shipping underworlds that believe that Cri- <em>Captain Rios</em> is five clone-brothers pretending to be one person.</p><p>Most of <em>La Sirena's</em> current complement sat around one of the functional steel tables set in the ship's Mess, looking at Dr Agnes P Jurati uncertainly.</p><p>"Why...?" Raffi asked.</p><p>"Tax purposes," said Agnes.</p><p>"One of our flags-of-convenience is out of Bringloidi-Mariposa," said Emil, standing beside Agnes with his hands in his pockets.</p><p>"Oh, right, lots of look-alikes and big families out there," said Raffi, her long-fingered hands wrapped around her first cup of coffee of the day (as opposed to the last coffee of the night watch, half an hour ago). "Makes sense." She sipped the bitter black brew and her elegant eyebrows furrowed. "Lots of Jean-Lucs, too, mixed in with the Brigids and Ciaráns - I always wondered about that."</p><p>Picard, austere in a quilted black dressing gown, tipped up one austere eyebrow, but said nothing.</p><p>Elnor sat up straight beside the retired Admiral like a resting crane, eyes wide and drinking in the context of the unfamiliar situation.</p><p>"And you allow this belief to go on because..." asked Soji carefully.</p><p>Equally carefully, Emil answered, "There are... times when <em>La Sirena,</em> while operating entirely under the orders of its Captain, does so, without -"</p><p>"- the Captain present on the ship," Enoch said, his arms wrapped around a large black box. "I found your eyepatch!" he added cheerfully.</p><p> "The ship's emergency operating systems do not feel the need to draw speculation or intrusive inquiry as to just how autonomous the ship's systems might be," Emil continued smoothly.</p><p>"Why buy trouble?" Steward said easily, leaning between Elnor and Soji to wipe a cloth across the crumb-littered table.</p><p>Soji's dark eyes narrowed, in consideration and building indignation.</p><p>"Moving on to the matter at hand," Emil continued hurriedly.</p><p>"Oh yes," said Agnes. "Unfortunately, the Holo Squad can do many things, but they cannot pass a retinal scan, only Cris can do that -"</p><p>"Technically we don't have eyes!" said Enoch.</p><p>"- even assuming they could leave the ship - the mobile emitters weigh like anything!"</p><p>"Agnes," Picard said gently, "could you explain the main problem, please."</p><p>"Oh, Cris has been kidnapped but the ransom they want is locked away in super secure storage on Freecloud."</p><p>"The sapphire monkey," said Steward sadly.</p><p>"I knew it would come back to haunt us," added Enoch.</p><p>"Wait, wait, wait," said Raffi. "Cris has been <em>kidnapped?"</em></p><p>"I should have started with that," Agnes said.</p><p>"You did bury the lede," said Emil, "but the context of the situation is also useful." She looked up at him gratefully.</p><p>
  <em>"What about Seven?!"</em>
</p><p>Agnes slid one of <em>La Sirena's</em> commlinks across the table to Raffi. <em>"Hey, honey,"</em> the xB's voice sounded.</p><p>Raffi visibly softened, "Hey, babe," she purred. "You good?"</p><p><em>"Peachy."</em> Mediated over the little commlink came the tinny sounds of phaser fire. <em>"None of that is aimed at me,"</em> Seven added hurriedly.</p><p>"Can you sum up?" Picard asked, more brisk.</p><p>"Oh," said Agnes. She looked at the synth. "Soji, can you help me clone one of Cris's eyeballs? We don't have much time."</p><p>"..." said Soji.</p><p>"It's either that or rob a bank."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think I may possibly have borrowed the sapphire monkey from <em>Leverage.</em> The Bringloidi-Mariposans stem from what I think is probably the worst Trek episode of all time, "Up the Long Ladder". But it does make for some interesting world-building, decades later.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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